Pinkie Gurl

so long

2010-08-30T17:33:00.002+01:00

its been times times times since i am here updating..

my life have changed..i have a lovely lao gong..

i am going to have my own house soon..

i have a stable job..

i have a happy life..

tho sometimes lao gong make me so errrrr...

lol..

but i still love him since the first day till now..

and till death brings us apart..

1yr+

time really flies..

nights!

=(

2010-02-24T16:07:00.002Z

dunno bahz.. very long nvr hear my lao gong gong voice le.. hao shang xin ah.. hao xiang ta.. haiz.. i miss those nice sweet little days we used to have tgr.. lao gong gong.. wo hui wait for u chu lai from the fucking stupid shit army.. so torturing to us.. sobx.. hope u @ field camp okie ah.. or else, i see u i sure sad sad de.. lols..
love u ever and ever and ever..
my forever and only hubby..
muackie !!

hmm.. today ah..

2010-02-08T02:50:00.002Z

it has been sometimes since i update le.. lol.. things have been going quite smoothly for me in my life.. i am quite satisfate with the things i had now bahx.. i had met a guy who is my lao gong who loves me more than anybody could.. and of cause i love him more than anything else.. =D.. v day is coming.. i wonder what plans he had for me.. haha.. i dunno bah.. hope to see him soon.. tho sometimes and i dunno why i will think of my ex de.. haiz.. juz so sux.. not think of the person.. but is the things that had happened in between us.. haiz.. but only for short while.. when i think of it, i will want to cry de.. sobxsobx..
tats all bah.. i working now.. lols.. cannot use too much internet.. hahaha.. later boss kill me then i mati.. lols..
thats all folks.. =D

lunch hour..

2010-01-08T05:20:00.001Z

lao gong will b out tmr le.. yayaya... after for so many days.. lols.. can see him le.. thinking of what to cook for him for his lunch tmr.. hmmz.. he wanted western meal.. how?? i dunno lei.. haiz.. headache.. now lnuch hour.. so came surfing the web.. ebay.. found quite a few cool stuffs.. lols.. considering of buying them.. aw.. oh ya.. saw a LV bag.. omg!!! so nice.. will buy next mth or march as my bday present.. hahaha.. thinking how.. shld i go for a short holi on apr with lao gong?? thinking of gg to genting.. lols.. cause after his bmt.. haiz.. i miss him soo soo soo much... sobx.. love u lao gong lots lots.. muackie!! see ya tmr!! =D

qidai..

2009-12-20T06:31:00.002Z

i am with laogong for like 6 mths.. but 6mths like equal to 6yrs.. we overcame so many many obstacles tgr.. and now is the most difficult obstacle we will overcome tgr.. 25th dec, on this day will be our first christmas tgr... but i can give lao gong nothing.. haiz.. cause i started working and haven got my pay lei.. haiz.. i feel so useless ba.. but i know lao gong have been trying to encourage me bah.. he has been trying to call me as much as possible bah.. i am so glad to see his effort ba.. i really miss him alot alot for this 1 week.. he said he also miss me lk siao ba.. but nth we can do ba.. i knw that i will wait for him for 2yrs till he complete ba.. but tho others think that the most possibilities of changing heart will be me not him ba.. but i know i will not.. cause he is the guy i am looking for and will spend my life with.. wo ai ni laogong more than forever.. *muacks*

marriage

2009-12-16T15:40:00.002Z

sometimes.. i looking at marrying couples.. i wonder.. what will be the difference of marriage life and dating life (but alrdy staying tgr le).. does it really makes any difference? i reali wonders.. laogong now in camp.. muz b sleepin soundly le.. i do appreciate him call/sms me every morning and night or rather whenever he is free ba.. he is the one i will want to spend with in my whole life.. he but nobody else.. i felt so stressed at work ba.. i miss laogong hugging me and comforting me when i need someone.. i know he will b out in abt 7 mre days.. but 7 mre days.. its so short yet so longer.. i miss him then any words can say.. i now living in his hse.. =) part of his house family ba.. i dunno.. tho i feel quite weird.. but its so much better then stayin @ my own hse ba.. i will wait for u de lao gong.. wo ai ni longer than yi bei zi.. muackssssssssssssssssssssssss

the day has come

2009-12-11T09:56:00.002Z

haiz.. the day has finally arrived.. the day which i dun wan it to arrive.. but now it has reali come.. lao gong went into his 2yrs of army le.. haiz.. went with his mum to send him off in tekong.. i felt reali reali sad.. its the first time i felt lk tt.. i am so lost without him by my side.. i came wondering is he fine inside.. what is he doing inside.. why the time flies so slow without him.. why.. now is only 6pm.. he 930pm then can call out.. why.. whenever i think of him i will cry.. christmas eve can see him le.. finally.. hope the day faster come bah..

haiz

2009-09-26T19:31:00.002+01:00

i am starting to regret the decision i had made on last wed.

seriously regret.

why i choose that decision.

have been pondering over it.

is it a boy or girl?

i yet to know.

and i wun ever know le.

haiz.

i was give this chance to be a mother but.

haiz.

lao gong supported me all the way.

i am glad.

reali glad.

but.

what had done had done.

sobx.

summary ba

2009-08-17T20:40:00.002+01:00

i have came back for lk 3 mths.

what had i achieved so far.

nothing much

i dunno what to say.

probably i will go missing for certain period of time.

i will be back till i am fine.

i dunno when will i start or i dunno when will i be back..

good luck everyone

feeling lost?

2009-07-01T20:21:00.002+01:00

i dunno ba .

just feel so lost now.

asked him will she call him again,

he said no,

i said why,

he said cause he told her on msn that he wun talk to her anymore,

then i mouth itchy, go ask him,

i asked u sad anot,

he at first said no,

then i so happy in my heart,

but then later he said actually a little bit sad.haiz.

no mood do nth,

feel so heart breaking,

i think i cannot replaced her no matter what ba.

perhaps i m just a life buoy.

i am nth to everybody ba.

a kwong also treats me like tt.

he also.

why is all these happening to me.

i feel so upset.

i dunno.

am i fated not to meet any guy i love.

or any guy who love me with all his whole heart and nobody else in his heart.

i dunno.

i tot i have met the one,

but somehow he is not the one.

i felt so lost suddenly.

aiya,

i go smoke le.

bye bye.

no mood.

so sux.

hello!!!

2009-06-24T14:30:00.002+01:00

i doubt anybody sitll reading my blog lah.

so long nvr come here update le.

i come back for like 2 mths liao.

spend so much money and no job lor.

sian.

haiz.

jus feel lk lazing ard and b a tai tai.

LOL!!

but cannot lah.

i have been attached for lk about 3 weeks liao.

and this guy is somehow special.

reali special.

he reali take care of me using his true heart.

and i know him for lk 5 yrs b4 we are tgr.

LOL

both of us are shocked by the result.

but my past reali makes me scared of him leaving me.

my past reali makes me scared of all this are just short term.

i dun wan.

i dunno what to do.

we are tgr for lk 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.

lols.

he stay at my hse every single day.

being with him makes me so comfortable.

i wan him to be xin fu and happy.

hopefuly he is when with me.

i am trying not to think so much.

cause i knw he is worried for me.

and he dun wan me to be upset alone.

but i dun wan him to be upset with me.

lols

and i am his first love.

lols.

he love me i love him.

muackz lao gong.

sigh.

2009-06-04T00:02:00.001+01:00

think ...
i am just so dead ...
i think i like someone who is younger than me ..
omg ..
we are just so close ..
just so happy being tgr ..
but ..
i dunno how he feels ..
sigh ..
weird ..
it cannot be ..
ahh ...

hai

2009-05-17T13:57:00.002+01:00

i doesn't seems to be welcome to sg.
my used to be close close fren no longer wan to meet me.
everyone hates me..
haiz.
what is going on.
tired.

haiz

2009-05-04T23:28:00.000+01:00

so tired.
i juz came back lahs.
i think i not blogging for the moment lah.
till any important updates.
i am back in sg for 1 week liao lah.
haiz.
not feeling happy at all lah .
tho everyday went out.
but unhappy feeling.
dunno lah .
dun update le.
bye.

haiz ..

2009-04-18T18:07:00.002+01:00

what doesn't meant to be mine will not be mine eventually .
haiz .
i dunno what to do .
why do i makes everyone hates me ..
haiz .
tried to cut my wrist on mon ..
but i failed to die .
why .
why muz u save me .
why .
u dun love me then dun fucking save me .
juz let me die .
haiz .
i dunno .
i realli dunno .
juz wan to leave this world and not thinking of other things .
too tired .

haizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

2009-04-12T11:50:00.002+01:00

i wan to get married suddenly .
so pretty wearing the bridal clothes .
haiz .
but who will want to marry me .
haha .
nobody .
lol .
told my frenz i have no bf .
nobody believed me .
cause they all tot he was my bf .
but actually he wasn't .
i was juz too "cheap" .
haiz .
dun say le .
i only hate one person ...
and that person is ME .
i reali hate myself .
hate myself till i want to leave this world .
i am too tired living in this world .
juz want everything to end .
who actually understands my feelings truely and deeply .
nobody .
haiz .
i ask myself .
if my mum tt time when having me,
and she abort me .
how good will it be .
i wun be in this earth suffering .
sigh .
bye!

sigh

2009-04-11T13:56:00.002+01:00

i din know tt my decision tt time will affect so many ppl .
now so many ppl hate me .
haiz .
i hate myself too .
juz so sucks .
haiz .
is my decision wrong then?
i dunno .
just wan more money also wrong .
hai .

after talking ..

2009-03-30T14:37:00.002+01:00

felt so much better after talking to my bro and sis in law .
thankx god that i have them ..

Truth Or False .

2009-03-30T02:51:00.002+01:00

Every of ur sentence,
i dunno whether is it the truth or false .
i dun dare to think .
i have no energy to think .
but why .
everytime i will find out things i dun wan to find out .
i have wasted my energy and time talking to u for 4 days .
it is all rubbish spoken from u and me .
if i have a choice again and i know i will knw u from here .
i wun have choose this path again .

is there any miricle ??

2009-03-30T02:43:00.002+01:00

in this earth,
is there anything called miracle will happen .
i doubt so .
i am just so disappointed in you .
juz becoz of u,
i choose to stay in uk and not going back .
how much i miss my family .
but yet i choose to stay here .
just because i ...
in the end ..
what i got ..
nothing .
but disappointment from u .
hope what my sis in law says will not be true .
dun regret ur decision in future .

i hope ....

2009-03-28T10:29:00.003Z

what i hope now ..
what u said to me for this few days after our talk ..
is true ..
i dun wish to get hurt by u ..
becoz of u ..
i am willing to change anything ..
i hope u dun make me disappointed ..
i knw u will be my side no matter what ..
i am happy to have u by my side ..
thanks for everything ..
tho u reali hurt me alot ..
but i hope time will change us ..
change us to the better ones ..
probably there will b frenz scolding me silly ..
but ..
i reali dun wan to give up ..
if i want,
i will have given up long time when i knew abt her .
but .
perhaps i reali love u ..
u reali did brought me happiness .
but if her ard,
i feel akward .
haiz .
but nvm .
i knw u will do something .
and i know u did change a little for me .
i have influence u .
ilu cos.

woww ...

2009-03-28T08:39:00.002Z

i din know that my decision will influence so many ppl ..
aiya,
there are many reasons behind why i choose not to go back AGAIN ..
it is not convenient to say ..
anything ask me thru msn ..
or even still i mayb styaing here for as lng as i could.
i am applying for student visa ..
hopefully as time passes,
my boss help me apply working permit ..
the better lah ..
now looking for a course loh ..
aiya ,
see how lah .
i know i let kenny down again .
so sorry .
is this call no fate ?
probably yes ba .
all my collugues so happy that i not going back le
lols .
hahha .
suddenly i felt so happy as well .

sorry sorry ..

2009-03-27T13:13:00.002Z

i have decided not to go back on the 25th apr ..
sorry ..
i knw u are disappointed .
once again and again ..
really sorry ..
probably ..
timing for us are not right ..
i still cannot let go things here ..
i still cannot solve the things here ...
so sorry ..
probably i will be back in a few yrs time ..
i dunno ..

well well well .

2009-03-25T13:22:00.003Z

for past few days ,
there are somethings i couldn't think thru .
but after thinking for a few days .
i have tot thru .
i will be my best happily in uk for 1 mth .
i am going back for good .
tho abit reluctant to leave my best collugues in the shop .
but if old one dun go, new one wun come de.
so ..
"gu ma" asked me ytd what i wan to kip as memory on the day i go .
i said .
those photos taken with everyone of u in the shop is the best memories and present i will have .
i doesn't need anymore presents .
those memories will be kept in my heart .
5 yrs later,
when i take out the photos,
i will still then rmb i once work with all these ppl .
1 more mth .
and i am leaving this shop .
going back to my hometown .
"gu ma" asked me ytd,
i bare to put down all the things in uk meh .
i said i dun bare,
i will also force myself to do tt .
for everyone happiness .
=)
i will be happy .
will not affect my work .

lost

2009-03-23T11:04:00.001Z

shld i tell my boss tonight ...
that i am resigning or rather going back to sg on 25th apr ..
i am still considering ..
is it too early to say ..
but i scared ..
later he found a counter earlier than tht day ..
how ...
haiz ..
how?

regretted

2009-03-23T00:27:00.001Z

regretted for buying my ticket so late .
shld have bought much earlier date .

my bday

2009-03-19T11:32:00.002Z

i am so excited and bored at the same time .
its my bday today .
yaya .
23rd bday .
omg .
i am older by one yr again .
haiz .
going out le .
tata .
hope i will enjoy myself today ba .
my last bday in uk b4 i go back .
=/

too sick

2009-03-15T13:52:00.001Z

i din blog recently .
waas too sick and tired .
thats for today update .
din feel very well now ,
go rest .
tata .
ciaoz
^^

=/

2009-03-12T01:33:00.002Z

haiz .
juz now,
my work place was having so much fun takin pics lahs .
haha .
coz one of my collugues got a new cam lah .
then wanna kip a memory of us .
so take pics lor .
hai .
suddenly so "she bu de" all of them .
haiz .
thinking that i am leaving here soon .
my heart so pain .
haiz .
but .
if the old nvr go, how the new will come right .
and there is nvr ending thing in this world .
so nvm ba .
if there is fate,
we will hence meet again de .
suddenly,
i reali feel lk gettin married and having my own family lor .
haiz .
perhaps it is not my life ba .
i dunno lah .
if i knew the person i love have a gf,
i wun nvr ever ever step into tt r/s .
coz i knw there will nvr be any end for both of us .
and there wun be any enternal love .
watch a HK drama series juz now lah .
then have this tots .
haha .
so emo ~
boo .
dun blog liao .
no mood suddenly .
tmr off le !!
yuppy!!!!
so happie !!!
=D
i will reali reali miss my collugues alot when i get back to sg .
so when my collugue told me that she will be washin the photoes tmr i ask her to help me wash for me as well .
so i can bring back to sg ma as a memory .
haha .
i felt so terrible .
there is nobody to talk to when i needed someone .
who can be there for me to talk .
nobody .
i reali feel a loner in this world .
haiz .
SUCKS

hmm .

2009-03-11T16:52:00.003Z

i am having my off day tmr .
yayayya .
i am so happy lahs .
my leg is so tired and aching .
haiz .
dun happy lor .
hmm .
juz taught my lady boss daugther how to create a blog acc .
haha .
hard to teach lei .
cause she dunno any HTML .
haiz .
she doesn't want to study .
haiz .
i feel lk she is juz lk my past lor .
haiz .
everyone has been trying to persuade her to study .
but she juz so stubborn and refused to .
i juz hope tt she wun be lk me in the future .
i want to go on holidays !!!!!!
but no money .
haiz .
how to have a fortune in a short period .
i miss dardar .
but dardar nvr say he miss me le .
haiz .
juz lk last time lor .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
dardar says dun think so much .
but sometimes history will reali make me fear .
haiz .
the feeling is juz so sucks lah .
oh ya .
today ate Mac Big Breakfast .
hee .
so happy .
coz its been sometimes since i ate it le .
hmm .
its so yummy .
but the portion is so small lei compare to sg de mac .
haiz .
wanna eat egg muffin !!!
lolx .
suddenly have this cravings .
ha!
i go work liao le .
tata .
some ppl are just so wu liao .
they have no life man !
so we doesn't need to bother abt those no life ppl .
=D

lazy and tired

2009-03-10T00:29:00.002Z

ever since i start work officially again,
i am so freaking tired each single day .
perhaps of my leggie lah .
aiya,
i dunno lah .
tired until dun feel lk playing AR .
lols .
tired until dun feel lk moving at all lor .
haiz .
juz so freaking tired lah!
and lazy lah .
hahahahahaha .
my dad juz told me a good and happy thing .
he bought a present for me for my bday .
he wanted to send to me de .
but since i goin back,
then he says i come back he then give me .
good good .
whahhaha .
so happy .
but he says he sending me bday card and 2 photos lah .
haha .
so happy .
my daddy so nicey and sweetie lor .
i love my daddy lots lots lah .
and my dardar too!!!

can't wait

2009-03-09T14:30:00.001Z

i juz wait for tt day to arrive.
omg.
my lady boss was so disappointed due to some reason juz now .
but i am so excited lahs .
^^

somehow .

2009-03-09T09:34:00.001Z

somehow at times,
i will hestitate of buying tix .
but .
i will buy it lata .
no matter what .
nobody can stop me .

LOL

2009-03-09T00:10:00.002Z

i realise i am juz so stupid lahs hor .
i set my blog as public again lah .
then ask dar to check out whether success anot .
then i forget i actually post abt the mini surprise for him .
then he saw the post b4 i rmb lah !
then dar knw liao .
not fun liao .
but i told him .
i not gonna tell him what time and what plane i taking .
whahhaha .
i am seriously so excited and looking forward .
need to go on BIG diet .
7 weeks to lose the fats i gain for 1 mth .
omg .
its pretty hard .
after resting for 1 mth,
today is my first full day at work .
anddddddddddddddd........
my leg and head hurts lah .
fuck lah .
how am i gg to work lor .
sux .
i hate myself .
i wanna cry .
i wanna see and hug dar .
i wanna see my family and tell them i miss them so much .
but all could only wait till 7 weeks later .
=D
tmr buying my tix le .
omg .
i am so excited lahs!
no more changes for anyone .
sg is my hometown ,
and it will forever be the place i live .
i love my hometown,
and the people in my hometown .
=D
muackzzzzzzz
can't wait to catch up with allllll my fwens .
omg .
juz so excited.
can u seeeee .
lols .
i am so tired
juz dwl coming soon this thai scary latest movie .
it doesn't seems tt nice .
suddenly have no interest in watching horror show liao lei .
dunno why .
hmm .
i go watch my show,
then go slp le .
nights nights .
^^

well .

2009-03-06T17:28:00.003Z

juz diid something to my blog .
dunno is it successful anot .
i make my blog private .
hopefully it will be successful lah.
and ya .
ju ask jerry to do a small little test .
it is private now .
dar sure ask me why my blog become private de .
lol s.
nd to think of a reason .
hmm

ahahhahha .

2009-03-06T15:55:00.001Z

once dar hear tt i am nt going back early .
he ji tao very sianzzz .
hahah a.
i feel lk laughing .
but anw .
dar tho i am not going back early,
but i am planning surprise for u lah .
so u cheer up kk .
u sure see le very happy de .
but at the moment i wun let u knw .
till end of april u knw liao lah .
to replace me de surprise lah .
hee .
sorry to make u disappointed .
muack

i am so happy . whee ~

2009-03-06T01:19:00.002Z

well .
nothing much to happy lah .
juz feel so happy .
happy tt everyday dar will try to make me happy and laugh lah .
haha .
juz love the way he is and we are .
decide to go back on the 12th of may!
could be even earlier lor !
hmm .
dardar so happy lah .
but he sounds not happy .
haiz .
dunno lah .
what am i saying now .
lols .
aiya .
my mind and heart in a mess lah .
haiz .

=/ hmmz

2009-03-05T11:53:00.002Z

aiya .
seriously lah.
what shld i do lei .
i dunno lorx .
haiz .
i wanna go back asap .
tdy working later .
suddenly,
i have fears .
fear that i and dardar will not last long .
juz lk last time .
haiz .
i suddenly have this fear of losing him once again .
very scared lor .
haiz .
how ah .
dar i juz wan to let u knw that i reali love u .
but .
i am scared .

having another rest day again.

2009-03-04T15:40:00.002Z

i realise that i made a big mistake .
i tot my course fee is $3010.
but it is not ..
it is $3900
omg!!!
die lah .
nd to re plan again .
and things aren't going to my way.
cause my dad put my money ....
aiya .
dun say lah .
secret shall be kept .
dardar and i knw can le lah .
ytd say dardar .
everytime discuss with him something or want him to says something realisatic .
he will not do it .
or says aiya up to u .
or says u go ask bla bla .
haiz .
next time dun discuss with him liao lah .
discuss = nvr discuss .
in the end i decide myself lor !
haiz .
stupid dardar lah .
mayb going to delay again .
cause some obstacles with me now to go back b4 22nd may lor .
haiz .
sux lah !

i realise that .....

2009-03-03T22:48:00.003Z

i realise that it is even mre crazy if u got mre than one thing went bonker .
my lappy and my hp .
wah lao .
sian .
faster want to get out of this shtye lah .
anw .
i decide liao .
go bck b4 22nd of may lor .
reg for my june course .
tt is my decision lah .
and .
i seriously seriously miss dardar alot alot !!!!
dardar i wan huggie from u ....
sobx
can't wait to see u at airport !!!
=D

its crazy

2009-03-03T19:14:00.002Z

its crazy to have a crazy laptop .
juz lk me .
my laptop i can seriously sense something is gg wrong with it lahs !
juz now cannot go online .
while he can .
dunno why .
then reformat le ok .
can go onlin e.
then soon cannot .
then now can .
wah lao eh .
crazy lah .
dunno what happen .
juz hope it will last till i go back lahs !
or else sad loh .
think b4 22nd may i go back ba .
=D .
i and dardar still thinking .
i dunno lah .
so lost .
gave my lady boss see dardar pic .
she say wah! so shuai ah .
lols .
i say ya lah .
my dardar lei .
=D

haiz ....

2009-03-03T01:08:00.001Z

dun feel lk blogging .
sorry .
no mood .
no update .
juz feel so low now .
haiz .
sux .

working .

2009-03-02T11:04:00.003Z

in a few mre hrs will start working liao .
aiya .
sian lei .
almost 1 mth nvr work liao .
mayb will go and find pt job in the morning loh .
dunno lah
or mayb i nd to delay my date of gg back .
coz i realise it is impossible to save all my salary de .
coz i nd to pay the internet which is 40 pounds .
either i get a pt job .
or else i nd to delay my time .
haiz .
sux
how .
i dunno lah .
i also wan to go back early lei .
but hor .
somehow my financial dun allow me too .
sigh .
what to do .
my course start at 22nd june but stoppin date is 22nd may lei ,
next date is 12 aug and stopping date is 12 july .
how .
seriously i dunno lei .
lost .
what can i do .

family loh

2009-03-01T20:38:00.003Z

talked to my mummy for almost 2 hrs ytd .
it is the first time i talk to her for so lng lah .
i told her .
when u and daddy by my side,
i din treasure,
juz kept gg out.
nw tt both of u nt by my side,
i wan to talk to u all nd to call and cannt see .
mummy told me lots of things .
mummy reali miss me lots .
coz normally i everyday will call at least once.
but sometimes lazy to call ma .
so two days nvr call,
then my daddy will sms me says why nvr call my mummy misses me .
lols .
my parents so cute lah hor .
then ytd my bros all went home to eat lunch .
my mummy says she cooking soup .
i wanna drink so i tell her mummy i wanna drink.
she says ok lah . u come loh . what time u reaching .
i miss their cooking
haiz .
sad lah.
was so bored tt i am reading my previous blog add de blog entries lah .
so many fears and memories came to my mind .
haiz .
feel lk crying .
wanted to tell dardaar something,
but hor forget liao le .
die lah till now cannot rmb.
oh ya dardar says .
when u come back,
cannot so close to ur guyz fren de hor .
or else i will jealous de .
lols .

=D

2009-03-01T20:23:00.003Z

suddenly i have so much to say .
to dardar .
i dunno where and how shld i start lah .
dardar .
thankx for all this understanding u have given me .
thankx for treating lk nobody will ever treat me tt gd .
i knw tt u are jealous coz i and him slping on tt bed .
but u trusted me and u nvr say anything .
juz wanting me to get out of this hse asap .
dar .
thanks .
tho we haven reali met .
but i felt we have known each other for yrs .
and it is fate that brought us bck tgr again .
i strongly believe tt we will treasure each other mre than b4 .
dar i looking forward to the days we will spend with each other .
hee .
miss u lots dar .
i used to plan alot of things .
tt time when we brk,
i tot everything is over .
but now fate has brought us miracle .
i knw tt i shld trust u juz lk u trusted me .
but sometimes past brought me fear .
i knw u will give me time .
our time difference is so big .
tts why there is nth u could do .
i knw we can overcome all obstacles tgr de .
everyday i have been looking forward to hear frm u .
i am glad tt what i had said b4 u still rmb .
juz lk what u had said b4 i will rmb .
everytime whenever we are tgr,
is the time i am abt to go back .
or rather tot of going back le .
lols .
dunno why .
juz so qiao .
dar so swt,
the first thiing when he on his com is to read my blog de loh ,
then will ask me why i post tt , blah blah .
oh ya ,
everydya video with dar .
then i smoke at his hse de ma .
then dar will say smoke nice hor .
he hor .
everything also cannot escape from his eyes de lei .
he win liao lah .
dar says i muz stop smoking coz i blog so big tt i will quit smoking ..
if nvr quit,
my fren will say me .
lols .
dardar always make me so zzzzz de lei .
anw,
tmr start working liao .
i think it is better lah .
no work,
money stop,
but mouth nvr stop coz "he" bought food for me lahs .
making use of him onli lah dar .
dardar slping now .
i so bored loh .
my fren all not free .
sian .
dardar nag tt i come back early ok .
lolx .
says i come back early then after 1 yr or 2 yr we marry .
then i tell him .
actually hor,
my ideal age of marriage is 25 .
then he laugh .
he says see i tell u two yrs max or so then we married .
lols .
i say ya lah .
u knw me lah .
he ah.
always act as if he knw me lk tt loh .
tdy alone at home .
coz "he" nt @ hm .
went to see his mom again lah .
i dun bother .
see see loh .
juz tell me coming back anot .
i nd to lock the door anot .
hahaa .

haiz

2009-02-28T12:59:00.002Z

so bored lahs !
i wanna buy wii or ps3 when i get back to sg !!
roar !!
anyone truely understand me .
if u do,
can u tell me what am i actually .
i dunno .
haiz .
i cannot recognise myself at all .
i dunno

busy day again .

2009-02-27T21:46:00.002Z

today i having a busy day again lars .
whole day acc my boss wife running ard lahs .
sian .
juz reach home not long ago nia loh .
haiz .
so tired .
fell asleep at her car lah .
then talk to dardar the whole day on the phone .
miss him lots lots lah .
wanna go back asap .
so .
i NEED and MUST start work by next week loh .
or else how to go back early lah .
haiz .
bored .
then today make dardar angry lah .
hee .
luckily dardar not so petty de .
awhile lata ok le .
hahahha
=D
oh ya .
my films most of them finish download liao !!!
yaya .
so many eng films to watch lahs .
so happy loh .
=D
happy day .
tmr will be a betta day .
aiya .
wanted to say something .
but hor .
i forget liao le .
sigh .
oh ya !!!!
my boss wife wanna see dardar photo loh .
haha .
i say he very shuai shuai de .
so cutie .
haha .
=D

holiday

2009-02-27T11:32:00.000Z

i want to go on holiday !!!!!
but no money ...
whr can i go without money but can take plane .
sigh .
i and dardar says want to go to hk or taiwan .
but .
both of us no money .
sobx .
mayb juz nearby country malaysia ba .
langkawai.
hee .
dunno lah .
see how lah .

clever lahs me.

2009-02-27T03:22:00.001Z

i realised i am so clever lahs .
whaha .
juz managed to change my blogskin every single thing within a night
and i am now so tired
yawns~
time for bed .
tmr will be back for some updates .

lost .

2009-02-27T01:49:00.000Z

i dunno but why suddenly.
my mind and heart are in a lost .
i knew i have to make a decision quik and fast .
but somehow .
suddenlt .
i am so lost .
i dunno what to do .
i nd someone to guide me along .
bobby .
help .
=x

bored.

2009-02-26T23:25:00.003Z

juz so freakin bored now lah~
sianz !!!!
roar !!!!
i watch finish my show le .
now downloading new films to watch .
wah lao .
dwl speed so slow lei .
haiz .
sux lah .
pui~
and i think my computer is going to bonkers soon lah!!!
will restart itself de loh .
si bei sian lah.
haiz .
dunno lah .
go bonkers and go bonkers loh
gonna buy a new one when i reach sg anw .
but is desktop lah .
i wun buy laptop liao lah .
buy 2 laptops within 3 yrs .
whr gt ppl so pro de loh .
fuck lah .
miss dardar so much lah !!!
wan to see dardar !!!!
sobx .
dardar when we going on holiday .
juz both of us .
=D
dardar .
i will love u no matter wht happens
and i knw u will love me no matter wht happens .
i and u knw what i mean can le!!!
=D
muackie!!!!

bz day ? unlucky day?

2009-02-26T21:24:00.000Z

juz reached home .
tdy was quite bz .
was at hospital the whole day with my boss wife and her daughter .
well .
her daughter nd to extract teeth ma .
then they dun reali knw eng .
i nd to b there .
then my phone no credit and batt oki!!!!!
wah lao eh .
and my nds no batt also loh .
so boring ~~~~~
cannot call to dar .
dar find me urgently .
i knew it .
but .
sorry dardar .
not i dun wan call u back,
is i cannot lah .
miss dardar so much .
wanted to talk to him so much .
juz so unlucky oki!
and tired .
slept for 2 hrs at the hospital while waiting for my boss wife daughter to discharge lah .
so tired .
now also feel so sleepy .
no films to watch .
ehh ...
wait ...
got !!!
ytd juz downloaded transporter 3!!!
whahahhahaha !!!
and mama mia .
yayayya .
so freaky happy lah huh .
go watch le .
tata .
muackz dar .
i miss u .
hope time faster pass .
next week muz force myself go work .
cannot stay here .
no money .
no money how to go bak sg asap .
sob .

why?

2009-02-25T18:26:00.001Z

why things are getting so complicated now .
one thing settle,
another thing come .
i forever wun hav any peace de .
i am so tired .
what can i do now .
i dunno .
in a lost .
teach me .
tell me .
what should i do ..
ahhhh ...
i dunno ....
nd sometime to think thru my probs .
sigh .
sux .

omg .....

2009-02-25T14:33:00.000Z

omg .
i realise somethng .
there are so many ppl reading my blog .
cause there are so many ppl who i nvr mention to them abt my small one.
ask me how is my baby .
zzz .
omg .
but they all nvr tag .
so i din knw till now .
surprisingly .
hahah .

things have changed .

2009-02-24T14:37:00.001Z

since i now have dardar,
i no longer pin on any miracle on i and him .
tho he is slightly better now .
but its too late le .
i and him its impossible le .
i wun think of anything else .
wun bother of anything else .
except for dardar .
hee .
dardar knws hw much i love him can le .

cleared.

2009-02-24T14:25:00.000Z

all those misunderstanding between i and bb is cleared .
oh ya .
i have patched with my bb .
who is kenny lee
we used to b tgr but due to some misunderstanding,
we ended up our r/s .
and we din contact .
but only till recently,
we contacted back,
i am happy to b with him again .
dardar,
i am so sad tt i once lost u .
but now i have u back,
i will treasure u lots lots .
i will faster book air ticket then go back okie .
then we two go cycling, dating tgr okie .
my bday is coming in less than a mth .
whee .
i am juz so excited and happy .
hahahhaha .
my boss assured me that this job will kip for me .
till i get better .
i dun nd to worry .
i am so happy .
reali happy .
probably my boss wife spoke nice words for me .
=D
i will treasure what i have now .
esp my dardar .
realised tt till now,
u are not forgotten dardar .
muackie
ps: promise dardar to stop smoking .
hee .
will try lah .
i dun buy anymre ciggy le kk.
last two packs .
wah .
tell u all hor .
dardar super power lei .
i nvr tell him i update blog,
he knw i update blog lor .
i haven say anything,
he also knw what i want to say loh .
haha .
scared sia .
=D

fark lah

2009-02-24T03:47:00.001Z

can u imagine .
its alrdy 4 am but .
yet i cannot slp .
kip coughing and coughing .
having slight asthma .
juz so fark lah hor .
and he is there farking slping .
dun bother and care loh .
fark lah .
i am soooooooooo ........
forget it man .

well.

2009-02-22T01:10:00.000Z

suddenly,
at this moment .
i jsut wish to have some silence ard me .
i want to runaway from every single thing ard me nw .
make myself cool down first.
but .
i have alrdy not much time left .
haiz .
mon gg for check up again .
hopefully .
everything is fine .
sorry no mood to blog .
tdy i look at him,
suddenly i lost of words .
my heart and mind wanted to say so much things .
but .
nth came out from my mouth .
hai .
i dunno hw lng can i tolerate lk tt .
mayb by tt time,
my heart, mind and body will appear some illness .
mentally retarded .
lols .
cya!
ciaoz
^^

=/

2009-02-21T08:47:00.000Z

seriously,
i reali wonder how long can i last in this r/s
i am getting so tired each day .
just now,
tt gurl kip calling and calling .
i so pissed off loh .
but .
yet i have to act lk nth happen .
i dunno how long can i tolerate .
i want to give up le .
but .
i cannot do it .
i dunno lah .
thinking tt i will b gg back at may .
i think i will try to tolerate loh .
till my most extent .
gonna start work next mon le .
bored ~
time for air rival again
=D
ta

well .

2009-02-20T22:19:00.000Z

dar suddenly came home juz nw .
i tot why .
bring me food .
but hor .
no leh .
he came home to take some biscuits out to his car to eat .
lols .
cause they nvr cook anything .
haiz .
dunno lah .
i kanna shocked by him lah .
by the sudden appearance .
wah lao .
bobby .
u ah .
scared me lei .
u disappear for so long le .
suddenly appear back .
lols .
i nth to say liao lah .
happy to know that u nvr forget me lah .
hee .
aiya .
my air rival now lvl 20 le .
whee.
so freaking happy lah .
tata .
video conferencing with my frenz .
told shirlin will blog almost everyday .
haha .
seriously lah .
i knw i am being used .
but sometimes,
he reali make me feel so xin fu .
i dunno whether this xin fu is true anot ,
how long will it last.
but i dun reali dun bother.
as long as i am happy now can le .
aiya.
my mind in a mess lah .

shld i b happy?

2009-02-20T14:12:00.001Z

well .
dar this few days so guai lohx .
everyday come home on time loh .
12 sure reach home de loh .
but he got talk on the phone with her lah .
sigh .
so shld i b happy?
i oso dunno why loh .
he so nice nice to me .
haiz .
after i sent him tt all i want is a happy and best memory,
he has been reali nice and sweet to me .
i dunno lah .
heart and mind in a mess .
when he nvr come home after work,
i unhappy.
but now,
he come home after work,
i also unhappy .
haiz .
i also dunno what i want lah .
haiz .
juz so sux loh .
dar went out again .
to see his mother .
but i knw this time is true lah .
ytd he himself says 2 days nvr go see his mother le .
which means ytd he went to meet the gurl lah .
which is abit obvious loh .
but fuck care lah .
been talking to xy this few days for few hrs on the phone
wah lao .
reali enjoy myself man .
i think dar is wondering who am i talking to .
cause he ask me who am i calling .
i said fren loh .
i dunno lah .
he lk not happy i keep calling to ppl lei .
i dunno lah .
just so lost.
been talking to shirlin on msn as well .
miss the good old days .
both of us will go kbox tgr,
chilll tgr,
etc .
when i back,
i gonna catch up with everyone man .
bored lah~
gonna start work next mon le .
my boss ask me to start work .
went to see doc .
doc said try not to give too much pressure to my leg .
wah lao eh .
every doc says diff thing lei .
stupid .
tata .
go play air rival le . nice lei the game!

=/

2009-02-19T03:08:00.000Z

i think i am not so wei da afterall .
whenever dar talk to tt gurl,
or tt gurl call,
i tot i am able to tell myself ,
just treat it as their conversation is empty .
but .
ytd i felt so jealous and upset .
haiz .
i am a human not to say a girl!
ytd talk to xy for 5 hrs sia .
then dar said when he came back,
u knw u have been talking on the phone for 5 hrs .
power sia .
ermmx
talk until our phone no batt,bluetooth no batt .
haha .
but reali miss the good old times lah .
during this 5 hrs i have been trying to call u thru .
boss wants to knw whether can i work anot lor .
i told him lor .
not i dun wan,
i wan,
i can use clutches to work .
but is boss dun wan me to .
so .
anw,
dar wants to go to london again la ,
i asked him this time drive or take public transport,
he said drive.
he said go see his mum in hospital lah .
ya lor .
see mum in hospital nd to bring a "a newly reformatted" lappy go lah huh.
and bring bags of things which is not buying for her de lor .
and nd to shave himself neat lah .
u think i fucking stupid or idiot to bluff huh .
meet tt gurl say meet tt gurl lah .
tt gurl become ur mum liao lah .
fuck u lah .
then u call her mother lah .
wah lao eh .
i am nt fucking stupid lah hor .
b honest .
wah lao eh .
i am so fucking disapointed lah

how i wish .

2009-02-17T16:32:00.000Z

i think i am gettin pro in typing .
i doesn't need to see the screen to type lor .
haha .
dar says what u typing .
cause while i am watching show,
i am typing msn.
lols .
cool huh .
so dar doesn't know what am i typing to ppl .
aiya,
dunno lahx .
i feel so lost lor .
so many ppl scold me stupid .
stupid and foolish .
i can just leave tt guy as he cheat on me .
but .
not i nvr try to leave,
but failed to .
i tried to .
but cannot .
just sucks lah .
i just want to stay by his side happily b4 i go back.
told my frenz tt,
then they say,
u everyday cry ,
u ask urself u reali happy meh .
haiz .
i have alrdyx no mre strength to think so much liao lor .
haiz .
just want to have the best memory i have b4 i go bak .
i want to see him as much as possible b4 i go back.
i am stupid and silly.
but .
i m willing to do so .
haiz .
=)

???

2009-02-16T16:32:00.000Z

tdy,
he said if i tell u by wed u cannot stay here,
how ah .
i said ok lor, like tt lor .
haiz .
sobx .
seriously lah.
my leg ok le lah .
but .
i want to stay at his hse .
cause .
staying at his hse is so nice and wonderful .
i afraid if he knows i ok,
dun wan me to stay here .
haiz .
tdy he is so bz .
have so many fone calls .
i dunno who call .
and dun wish to know .
wanted to tell him next time dun pick up any calls .
but i am thinking .
if got urgent call how .
sigh .
i dun wan to be so direct saying,
next time the girl call dun ans when i m beside u.
i dunno la .
but he reali nice to me ytd and tdy lah.

sweet~

2009-02-16T12:42:00.000Z

felt so sweet ytd .
after i sms dar the 4 pages long text .
he is so freaking nice to me lor .
hah .
hug me to watch show tgr .
bring me water .
hug me to slp .
which he din do for very lng liao lor .
i felt so sweet to slp his arms .
wake up in his arms as well,
look into his eyes and talk to him .
the feeling is just so nice .
tho .
now .
he talking on the phone probably to that girl .
which i think 90% is .
my heart and mind drop to sadness once again.
but i told myself not to think too much lah .
so .
trying not to think .
will try to remain happy .
=)

sorry mummy and daddy~

2009-02-15T12:24:00.000Z

this post will be abt family .
was rading my past blog .
in my mind was my family .
seriously .
i rmb 4 yrs ago,
i promised them to bring them here .
but .
i dun think i can keep my promise .
i so much wanted them to come .
but .
there are too many things unexpected happening ard me now .
i dun wish to stay at uk any further .
i wan to go back asap .
hopefully tmr .
but .
its impossible .
cause i still nd to save money for my courses and ticket .
who ask me last time nvr save .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
i really miss my daddy and family alot .
so frenz,
if ur family members are by ur side,
plz treasure them .
cause they are the one who will stay by ur side no matter what happens .
i realised how impt i am in their heart .
my 2nd bro stayed by my side,
understand me,
support me at this point of time .
they are all so freat to have!
is my fortunate to have them .
i have learnt to treasure them .
and i will .
please bless my family in good health .
give me ample of time to repay them now .
tried to "die" just now,
wah lao eh .
hard lor .
stop breathing for few secs,
i felt like i gonna die and breathless liao .
haha .
so xing ku when u die lor .
i dun wan to die anymore .
lols!
bored .
ta .
go try out new game .
that time cannot play .

so many ppl .

2009-02-15T10:17:00.000Z

there are so many ppl asking me how is my valentine .
i said .
i got nth but anger and wait and disappointment in him.
seriously,
i wanted to ask him who am i to u .
but i realise,
there is no point asking him .
cause if he wants to fool ard with me,
he will have lots of excuse .
so i din ask anything in the end .
probably in 3 mths time,
i will say welcome sg .
hahahhaha .
i am just so freaking excited okays!
he is gg to london once again later .
haiz .
i nvr say anything
or i wun say anything.
its his own legs and car .
he control them himself .
even i say no,
he might go behind my back .
anw
tata .
i go watch show liao .
or rather surf web .
=D

=)

2009-02-15T01:01:00.000Z

too bored .
so kept here to blog .
what is there to blog?
oh ya .
i now learning and starting to play this game air-rival .
quite nice tho .
haha .
uk is such a bored country lah .
miss my family and frenz in sg .
sigh .
glad to hear tt my bro is gettin fine .
but somehow,
i am still worried for him .
cause he and my sis in law still not "patch" lor .
and it is abt 6 mths liao .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
my sis in law refused to on her hp.
i think she got another boy outside ba .
she so chio .
and clever and got fig .
haiz .
luckily,
i still have one family photo .
well not reali family photo lah .
dun have my stupid 2nd bro and my sis in law .
i was looking at my wishing list .
i was hoping to get married at age 25.
i am alrdyx now 23.
is it possible for it to fulfil?
i dunno lah.
want to have my own family .
is it possible?
dunno lah .
tata .
i go watch show liao le lor .
muackie to my frenz and him.

why .

2009-02-14T16:55:00.000Z

u know hw i feel when i cannot get hold of u .
my stomach and leg pain is small matter .
but my heart is very very pain .
pain until i have no feeling anymore
i cried .
finally after controlling for so long .
i let it out .
wah lao .
eerie lei .
the horoscope in a magazine so true lor .
wah lao .
scary .
it says "give him the benefit of the doubt. you may be tempted not to believe what he says and dig deeper to try and uncover the facts. but this is not the right time. take what he says at face value. putting your trust and faith in him is a wise move, as doing so in your r/s will help you become more loving. if you act suspicious, you could cause long-term damage to your love. let go of your fears."
wah lao .
so zhun lor .
shld i follow what it says.
it is hard .
haiz .
i dunno lah .

haiz .

2009-02-14T12:56:00.001Z

now is alrdyx 1pm .
he is not back .
haiz .
i think he is enjoying himself with tt gal ba .
sigh .
my feeling just so sucks .
why am i always so silly .
silly to stick with a guy who doesn't love me .
haiz .
anw .
how is ur v day tdy?
for those whu are sweetly in love,
i think ur bf/gf will give u nice and sweet surprises ba .
haiz .
for those whu are not in love,
dun worry ,
u will find the right one when times come .
jyxjyz everyone .
haiz .
my dad bday .
called him .
my whole family are all outside enjoying themselves .
at orchard .
sigh .
how i wish i could be part of them .
i am reali thinking.
if tt time on the 24th nov,
i went back sg and not staying here .
probably things will not be like tt now ba .
haiz .
but time cannot turn back .
i really regret not choosing to go back tt time .
why does i want to listen to him .
haiz .
i dunno .
i am in a lost now .
no matter what happens,
this time i will choose to leave him quietly .
i will only say goodbye to him on the day i leave uk for good .
=)
omg!
one fucking big problem .
i htinkmy luggage is overweight.
shit!
i think to send back somethings b4 i go back,
or else sure die de lor.

can anyone explain to me.

2009-02-14T10:11:00.000Z

can anyone kindly explain to me why .
why i felt so lousy even tho i expect he will leave me alone on v day at home .
why i still feel so upset even i told myself not to bother .
seriously .
i dunno .
i really dunno .
my heart breaks into into millions and millions of pieces .
i am so upset .
i tried to b happy .
but .
i somehow cannot do it .
i know he is meetin tt girl for 100% sure .
i am really very upset .
heart is crying .
but there are alrdyx no more tears from my body and eyes .
haiz .
what could i do .
i am just a third party .
tts what everyone telling me tt .
i have no position of saying and questioning anything .
i have been telling myself tt i m just playing him and .
makin used of him to care for me .
but somehow i wanted more .
am i greedy enuff .
i dunno .
my mind is in a whirl .

hmm =/

2009-02-13T20:45:00.000Z

hmm .
was reading my old old old blog .
when i was with raymond .
well .
seriously
if compare to raymond,
i know that this guy i have now is so much better than him .
just tt .
haiz .
after i text dar abt tt,
he din make any call her .
i think he knows what i mean ba .
seriously,
everyone says he is so nice and caring and anxious for me .
perhaps he really love me .
jsut tt that girl(kat) he yet to forget and let go .
well,
thats the case .
what is the point of getting so serious lor .
anw .
i went to the doc today .
the doc ask me to move even it is pain .
and gave me painkiller .
wanted to do another test .
but they said the earliest is mon .
so well .
again,
have to wait .
is dar really going to meet tt girl tmr?
seriously,
i dun wish so .
but if he insists,
i think i could do nth lor,
i guess dar wun have anything for me at all ba .
he will feel it is a waste of money .
but .
its our first valentine tgr .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
perhaps will be our last .
somehow i will go back to sg .
i dunno lah .
i alrdyx tell myself not to think so much liao lor .
but somehow .
i still hope for something miracle to happen to me .
haiz .
tdy is my daddy bday .
2 yrs i nvr celebrate his bday with him .
i reali miss those days our family used to have .
how good will it be .
if neither of us (i mean my bros and me lah) nvr grow up,
at least the five of us will be forever happy .
haha .
but it is impossible de lah .
dar is finishing his work in an hr time .
haiz .
this is the first time i call my bf by his name and not dar or dear or baby or what .
haiz .
felt weird lah .
perhaps tts the way it shld be ba .
tmr starting work le .
sianz lor .
but no choice .
scared tmr very bz cause sat and its v day .
oh ya .
its black fri .
well .
at this point nth bad happen to me ba .
just tt .
dar purposely move my leg away .
and i am fucking screaming away lor .
haiz .
he so bad lah .
always lk to tease me de lor .
boo .
but i love him just tt way .
hee.

wish me luk.

2009-02-13T11:32:00.001Z

seeing doc later.
wish me gd luk .
haha .
do i sound happy than last time?
lols

why .

2009-02-12T16:39:00.000Z

he said he is going to his mum hse on this sat which is a valentine's day .
i told myself not ot bother .
its fine .
but .
somehow . .
my tears drop just now .
i text him just now .
i told him .
i dunno and dun wish to know whether u really love me or not . and on sat are u going to ur mum hse or gg out with this gal name kat . i dun wish to know . i text u to let u know that i am not a fucking stupid girl . i kept quiet doesn't mean i dunno anything .
he din reply .
just bought a card for him on valentine day .
tho i knw he have another girl outside,
i am so stupid enuff to do all these things .
he said waste money .
i dunno whether he lk or not .
i am not going to bother .
cause i am too tired to bother .
how i really hope he will celebrate v day with me .
but .
all hopes are dash .
i dunno .
i DON'T WANT to think anymore .
i am really tired .
sick .
tmr gg for check up.
hopefully things will be fine .
girls are not stupid at all .
just tt sometime girls will choose to be stupid .
so guys .
stop fucking think tt u are so clever to lie to girls !
just fuck off .
i dunno why i am so angry .
but .
haiz .
i have told him i know abt kat this girl long time ago .
but he haven reply .
i hope for any reply .
i reali just want to b happy for my last three months here .
i am definitely going back .
my heart reali aches .
too pain .
probably i will create a new email .
a more formal email for those formal things .
lk resume or what .
haha .
oh ya .
i managed to contact bak Mr Kelvin Tan .
omg!
he tot i am married in sg!
omg!
omg!
omg!
he said he heard from one of our classmates tt i am getting married!
i cannot believe it!
had some chats with him.
he so shocked i called him .
lols .
really miss those days in ite .
boring but fun .
short but sweet.
hopefully when the next time i study,
it will be tt fun again .
lols .
tata .
go watch show le .
buaiz

=)

2009-02-12T10:19:00.000Z

talking to my dearest nu er on the phone .
the feeling is weird but nice .
a nice touch up/
ahiz .
missing the old days .
can u imagine .
ur love one talking to opposite sex sweetly in his rm .
while u r in his/her living rm .
yes,
he is doing tt now lor .

weird .

2009-02-11T23:30:00.000Z

it is so weird.
called angie today .
somehow and somewhere,
we seems like a stranger .
no longer like last time .
haiz .
the feeling is just not nice tho .
perhaps we separated too far and long .
anw .
i think he scared i outside got guy .
cause this two days,
i kip calling raymond ma.
then recently,
he so sweet talk to me .
talk to me so nicely.
and just now .
he just suddenly come out .
like want to spot check or surprise me .
wah lao eh .
really kanna shocked lor .
probably,
everything is all i think .
probably he just too bored there,
and want to get his ds .
i dunno .
dun wish to know and think anymore .
tired~
just want to be happy for my last 3 mths here .
cause probably i wun ever able to come to uk .
till i save lots lots lots of money in sg .
so its simply impossible .
somehow now .
i really kind of she bu de my collugues .
our working r/s are so good .
i really she bu de .
esp gu ma, and "mama"
they brought me lots of laughters and memories .
well .
i think i gonna get something for them b4 i go back ba .
he said tdy to me .
faster get ok .
or else how we can go out tgr .
i dun understand .
if he dun love me and have other girl outside,
why can't i have other guys outside and he still so care .
i seriously dunno why .
probably think too much again nia .
haha .
i am fine my dear frenz .
have u all bought presents for ur loved one?
hope u all did .
cause i nvr .
i had no chance to .
probably tmr or what i will go to the supermarket nearby to get something for him .
i nd to see my situation .
i not sure .
haiz .

childhood, history

2009-02-11T13:32:00.000Z

suddenly,
flashes of memories went in my mind .
i miss those sweet old days i used to have .
no worries.
no anger .
no nth .
haiz .
but tt could only be my past .
i cannt 100% go back to those lovely days .
till my next life .
probably going back to sg at end of may this yr .
still thinking .
haha .
for good .
my frenz are so happi to hear tt .

=)

2009-02-11T12:33:00.000Z

i am so proud of myself .
ytd i was all alone at home the whole day .
i cried and cried after i seen the sms from his phone .
but when he came back from outside ytd night,
i look at him.
i managed not to think and cry!
i am just so proud of myself .
from now till may,
i am jsut going to enjoy myself .
sat is valentine day .
i dunno what will he get or do for me .
i guess nth ba .
i wun think .
i guess i am used to him by my side now le .
cause without him snoring or at the hse,
i felt so weird .
haiz .
but anw .
nvm .
i sitll love him .
but .
i will slowly slowly let go till i go back to sg.
i WILL NEVER EVER force him to answer any of my doubts .
or i wun suspect him anymre .
coz i am too tired .
i felt so terrible .
i just let it go .
be it he just treat me as a sex object ,
girlfriend,
partner,
friend,
collugues,
or what ever .
it will NEVER EVER be a problem .
it is hard .
but i can do it .
jyxjyx sherin!
yaya !
talk to raymond ytd night .
miss the days we had in his office .
tho everyday quarrel and quarrel and cry cry .
but .
it is a nice memory to rmb .
and i will rmb .
how he cooko for me,
bring me for supper,
my bday chalet,
etc .
it is a sweet but sad memory .
i told him,
last time u have me u dun treasure,
now u dun have me, u said u want to have me .
its all too late .
perhaps at this moment nia .
yes, i talk at his hse with him ard .
cause if he is not going to bother what and how i feel,
then why i muz bother!
go fuck urself man!

decisions .

2009-02-10T18:17:00.000Z

i need sometime to cool down for i and his r/s .
but at the mean time,
i will treat as nth has happen .
i will just have some deep tots .
i will just go missing .
anything .
leave me a tag or comment or msn .
i will reply asap .
sorry frenz .

why .

2009-02-10T15:27:00.000Z

why .
why whenever i am determine to do something .
something or what will stop me .
and let me think again .
when i determine to just let go .
he called .
and talk so nicely to me .
ask me whether have i eaten .
how am i .
and he said he wish to come back tonight .
why .
aiya .
i dunno again .
i dun think le .
i go watch movie le .
tata

probably

2009-02-10T14:38:00.000Z

probably .
i should silent brk with him .
cause i bear to leave him in open .
probably .
i will go back to sg quietly .
probably .
that will be the best thing for me to do .
i have ask 5 ppl for advise .
all ask me to leave him .
he is a funny guy .
but .
i really cannot bare to .
probably when i go back sg,
i will forget about him totally .
probably .
i wun tell him when i am leaving anymore .
i will just kip silence .
my heart is dead .
i am just too disappointed .
and more over .
in sg,
i have plenty of frenz !!
who support me all the way .
whoo .
as for my little one .
ii will abort it .
sorry little one .
i will wait till my leg is better,
then arrange for abortion .
and will save some money for studies and go back !
probably not soo fast lah !
need sometimes .
probably,
i will just treat as i play with him .
its so nice to play with someone .
if i managed to pass this round,
in the future if there is anything happening,
i think i will cope myself .
cause i cannot rely on ppl anymore .
grow up girl .
be strong .
or probably i should confront the girl .
but xy said its not the girl's fault,
the problem lies wit him .
cause if this girl dun exist,
probably,
there will be coming out A, B, C girls in the future .
i dunno .
and ultimately,
i want to have my own family,
and if he cannot give me my expectations,
he is not the guy i want .
i am in a lost .
but anw ,
dunno why so many ppl ask me to go back this week .
lols!!!!!
i am so happy,
so happy that my frenz din abandon me even i left sg and came here .
glad to have true frenz ard me .
like wht mdm long said,
i deserve a better guy .
i want a better guy .
yes,
he treats me nice,
but so what.
he dun even know who he loves,
what is the point of going on .
so probably,
at this moment,
i will just kip quiet .
just take is as normal .
till a day,
i want to leave uk,
then on that day,
i will tell him .

sigh .

2009-02-10T13:45:00.000Z

seriously .
i am in a lost .
i saw his hp .
with a text which says "i love you bkk"
what is tt .
and the girl sent a text said " bla bla, i o u law"
what is that .
haiz .
i dunno .
i love you .
i dunno .
why .

sigh . =/

2009-02-09T10:45:00.000Z

why recently so many in sg ask me to go back .
lols .
i miss u all as well .
but i cannot simply let go the things here at this moment of time .
i think i am moving in to dardar hse .
lols .
even my leg is okay .
he said u want to be housewife .
i said no lah .
wah lao .
dam boring de lor .
housewife .
zzz .
he wish sia .
i dunno lah .
ask him a question .
why he everyday talk on the phone .
he just simply like to avoid .
refused to answer .
why .
haiz
he will just say .
ya lor .
he always like tt de lor .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
dardar is out again .
to bank then to my bossie house to help him make com .
dardar said he will be back by 1pm .
hopefully .
missing him now .
sobx .

=)

2009-02-08T13:19:00.000Z

haiz .
my mind is in a mess .
i am at dardar hse now blogging .
lols .
i fell down .
liagament torn .
using clutches .
ahh .
so fuckiing pain .
suppose to take x-ray ytd at hospital .
but cause i have baby .
so cannot .
sucks lah .
i dunno lah .
haiz .
why he alawys like so busy .
keep talking to a girl name kat .
i dunno .
but my "mama" said that kat is their "jie mei" .
but i dunno .
i dun like it .
i am jealous .
seriously jealous .
haiz .
i keep wondering .
at the end of the day .
if i were forced to give up or forget dardar .
can i do it .
i can't .
unless i leave uk and go back singapore .
i am in a mess .
dardar sometimes treat me very nice .
but sometimse .
just sucks lah .
i dun blog le .
no mood .
reali want to die .
die tgr with my baby .
haiz .

final decision

2009-02-03T00:58:00.000Z

we are ended .
and it is relaly ended .
he said lets cool down .
thats good .
at least when we cool down ,
after i abort my baby,
i know what to do with us .
my mind is in a mess .
i dunno .
miss wq .
why .
what am i thinking actually .
i reali dunno .
i want to die .
really die will be better for me then .

i dunno

2009-02-01T15:16:00.000Z

i feel like going back to singapore.
i dunno .
but dar dar dun wan me to go back .
he hopes me to stay .
but .
why .
he likes to lie to me again and again .
i gave him chance again and again .
but he nvr cherish the chances i gave him .
i cried in his hse ytd
at this point of time,
i really want to give up .
give up on him .
duan tong bu ru chang tong .
really .
perhaps this will be the best way for both .
i dunno .
sometimes i wonder .
if i nvr come uk,
perhaps i and wq is happily engaged or what now .
everything is perfect .
just because i came here .
wq and i brk up .
he promised to wait for me to go back .
but why .
why every guy like to brk their promises to me .
why every guy like to say empty promises .
why every guy like to make me love them and then brk my heart like nobody business .
why .
why .
i want to go back .
at least it is the only way i could give up on him .
cause facing him everyday ,
he will try to make me laugh .
i dunno .
i am so confused .
i reali hope to run away from him .
i dun wan to hear his voice .
i dun wan to see his face .
i told him ytd not to treat me nice ,
at least i have a reason to give up .
but he just hugged me very tight .
regardless what i mention .
i then told him .
if u dun let me go tonight,
u are not going to let go forever .
he kept quiet and just hugged me tight .
i dunno .
he doesn't talk anything out from his heart .
i have been always guessing and guessing .
TIRED .
i decided to abort this little one .
and i have confirmed .
i will arrange a date soon .
without letting him know .
cause he said if i have,
we will marry immediately and no delay .
but i dun wan to have this kind of marriage .
so i will abort .
tata .
to wq, u take good care .
we are the history .
i dunno whether can we be future .
but definitely not the present .
u dun think too much .
wish u all the best in everything u do .

1 month

2009-01-29T13:49:00.000Z

i and him have been tgr for a month .
i think so .
cause .
we doesn't seems to have an official date tgr .
from the start ,
we seems to be like a couple .
going out to eat and shop .
but din hold hands or what .
but only one month ago .
i dunno .
he is a nice guy .
a reali nice guy .
but in his heart does he only love me .
or he loves more than one .
i dunno .
i dun wish to guess no more .
i am tired .
i just wish to be happy every single day .
i am not going to bother what is going to happen .
cause if i nvr think of all this,
we are reali very xin fu de lors .
happy couple tgr .
but .
somehow .
i feel he is two headed snake .
i dunno.
how i wish my six sense is wrong .
my collugues all said we both very match lors .
they all can see he so care about me and love me nors .
but .
i dunno .
perhaps .
i am comparing .
comparing him to wq .
haiz .
two days ago .
i am so dead fucking drunk .
that is my second time drunk .
i rmb my first time .
is at sg kbox .
haha .
i was so dead drunk tt day until i took a knife and chopped the chopping board .
put my head in the gas stove and wanted to kill myself .
perhaps i reali hate myself .
i shou and scream .
shouting for his name .
wanting him to come .
he just left a few sec ago lahs .
i dunno .
what am i thinking .
didi i reali love him .
or i dun love him but .
just treating him like an entertainer who can entertain me when i am bored .
but why .
why do i so bother about his actions.
and os worried about him when he nvr sms or call me .
sigh .
suckx .
i think i am pregnant .
i dunno .
missed my period for a week .
so scared .
about the pregnancy kit .
haiz .
dun wan to test .
i am scared of the result .
sigh .
what is he thiking .
i reali dunno .
haiz .
i am so frustrated .
hope to kill myself and end everything .
ta .
go smoke .
so fan

=.=

2009-01-26T03:50:00.000Z

happy cny peeps .
i din know he read my blog .
haiz .
anw .
i jsut went to casino to eat buffet .
so full lahs .
with my whole lots of collugues lor .
fun lahs .
darling got go as well .
hbut .
he in the car make me angry .
i talk then he said shut up lahs .
he nvr ever talk to me like tt de lor .
then just now eating .
my boss said to me.
he can bring u home de mahs later .
then he said got u (boss) can le .
wah lao .
sad lor .
i ji tao angry lor .
then i walk away .
he came and said sorry .
i said sorry no use lah .
anw .
dun bother .
ytd had a chat with him about my unhappiness .
he said he know what to do .
so we shall give us time to see .
i shall not think too much .
reali de very tired to think de lors .
haiz .
i realise .
i have reali fallen for him .
i so worried for him jut now .
cause he looks so tired .
and he needs to drive .
reali worried lor .
haiz .
glad that he knows i am worried .
=)
i know he is nice .
he wants to treat me and everyone else nice .
but am i the only one stands out in his heart and mind .
or .
but i know if i ask him,
he will say see the situation .
he is a nice nice guy .
reali nice .
perhaps i think too much .
everyone has their own friend .
just like me .
why can't he have his own friend .
just like when wq or whoever sms me,
i wun let him see or knw .
but i dunno why i think tt way .
but i dun wan myself to regret in the future .
he is a silly nice guy .
anw .
i wanna go watch show le .
tmr off !!
whee .
thinkign whether to go to uncle chris hse anotx lah .
i still dunno .
scared cannot wake up sia .
lols .

=)

2009-01-24T15:51:00.000Z

its ended .
everything is ended .
i have end our r/s .
cause i am tired .
tired of guessing what is in his mind .
i dun wan to torture myself anymore .
told him .
let us be frenz or working collugues .
i am tired .
i want to give up .
perhaps he is not my cup of tea .
i am not his cup of tea .
or probably .
he had alrdyx met his cup of tea .
bye for now .

loved or not

2009-01-24T00:55:00.000Z

am i having some problems with my thinking and mind .
i dunno what i want .
haiz .
help .
i know darling is nice to me .
but .
as usual i suspect he have other girls outside .
haiz .
i dunno .
but whenever i am unhappy,
he will try to coax me and make me smile .
it is sweet .
nobody did that to me before .
like today i am angry with him .
for not making his promise .
then did not talk to him and look at him the whole day .
but .
he kept looking .
i said .
ncie to look meh .
look what .
he said ya lah . i dun mind and happy to look for my rest of my life .
zzz .
does he love me or does he not love me .
i dunno .
i always been guessing what is going on in his mind .
i can't seemed to catch his thinking .
but my "mama" said,
she know him for so long ,
she also dunno what he thinks .
how can i know .
haiz .
i dunno .
he have problems dun talk to me .
i have problems he wants me to share with him .
haiz .
but i want him to share his problems with me too .
tho i cannot help much lahs .
but at least sshare tgr will not be too much stress .
i dunno lahz .
he called and tell me tmr go eat breakfast tgr and go for shopping at supermarket .
dunno lahz .
i dun wan to rely on him anymore .
i want to learn independent .
i am afraid .
if i am too rely on him,
one day i lost him,
i will die without him .
so i told myself .
if he dun call, i wun call .
this is to prevent myself from hurting myself further .
anw .
i am done ranting .
nights nights .
seriously .
i do miss darling now .
wants to hug him to sleep .
haiz .
2 days nvr hug him to slp slp le .
haiz .
sobx .
loves .

i am confused

2009-01-15T02:06:00.000Z

is anybody there?
i think i am in love .
omg .
with someone who is bigger by 15 yrs old than me .
zzz .
i dunno .
i know ppl says that age doesn't matter anything .
he treats me reali reali good .
reali care about me .
concern about me .
help me .
protect me .
take good care of me .
he is a good guy .
doesn't gamble, smoke, drink, go for prostitute .
i dunno .
my collugues can see that he reali love me .
ppl says .
he might ask me to stay in uk and marry me .
i dunno .
such a big gap .
i reali have no confidence at all .
that time raymond .
only 8 yrs of difference .
we quarrel non-stop .
i am tired .
but i know truely .
that this one is the only one who became from collugues to frenz to lover .
not like those in sg .
its my reali true first love .
shld i be happy .
i dunno .
he told me that he dun like me to smoke and spend money on not necessary items .
i will change if he proved to me that he is true about me .
anw .
i am so unlucky .
ytd drank alot .
cause i am very unhappy .
then he called me and my phone dropped in the toilet bowl .
sucks lor .
spoil liao .
haiz .
sad lah .
lucky not the new phone .
or else i will cry lahs .
i go slp le .
this few days been spending at his house overnight playing .
didn't realy slp well .
i miss him .
omg .
die .
dead .
poof .
does anyone can guess who am i saying?
whahah .
secret .
if i married here, i will invite u all de .
dun worry .
whaha .

well .

2008-12-29T00:16:00.000Z

christmas had over .
and new year is comin .
omg .
time reali flies .
told bro abt the prob .
i am so glad that my bro is always beside me .
understands me .
tho sometimes quite angry with him lah .
haha .
i felt so much better .
looking at my previous blog .
at the wishing list .
realised that i am slowly moving to my ultimate goals .
but if i din come to uk .
i think things will be the same .
i realised .
i am more materialistic now .
omg .
i can't be that .
or else .
even alot of money also not enuff me to spend finish lor !
haha .
anw .
i am gonna buy a LV bag two weeks later .
reali looking forward to own a LV bag of mine using my hard earn money .
omg .
i cannot imagine
how excited will i be sia .
reali miss my family .
talked to my mother .
had a good talk .
its been sometimes since i talked to her .
i know my parents miss me .
wanted me to go back .
but they din say .
haiz .
i too .
wan to go back badly .
myu frenz also ask me to go back .
i miss angie , angelia , katerine, wei lun, wei qiang, raymond , kenny, etc .
haiz .
but .
oh ya .
i found a school for my course .
gonna start school immediately when i go back .
then look for job .
not going to waste any time .
ta .
gg to bath .
and slp early .
tmr waking up early .
shit .
its late.

merry x'mas and a happy new year .

2008-12-25T02:05:00.000Z

Merry X'mas and a Happy New Year Peeps !!
ya .
x'mas is here once again .
but this yr .
to me .
its just another bad unlucky day .
i mean beginning .
cause x'mas eve night i rushed to take my last train here .
supposely can rush back to my uncle place just in time .
but .
i WILL miss the train to my uncle place .
ok .
think ppl will find it to complicated to understand wth i am saying .
well .
from my working place to my uncle place
i nd to change FOUR times of train .
or peerhaps FIVE?
from my place (Rainham) -> barking -> aldgate east -> king cross -> uncle place .
its my route .
from rainham -> barking i managed to take my last train .
then i alighted at barking .
i wanted to ask ppl ard .
i mean those in charge la .
not those small ppl .
but nobody could be found .
then ...
i realised i left one of my bags (full of presents ok, at least 6 presents) in the train while coming to barking .
fuck .
dam uphappy liao .
call my uncle ask him what to do .
then he so angry and said .
then dun bother to come .
zzz .
more upset .
call my driver .
ask him wat to do .
he say i can choose to alight the next stop or take the risk .
i chose to take the risk .
so i went on .
i took the train to aldgate east for abt 20 bloody mins,
it seems like forever to reach .
then over there i wait for another train to king cross .
from king cross to my uncle place last train is 10.20 .
and at that time i reached aldgate east was alrdyx 9.50pm .
i am so scared and anxious .
scared i couldn't take the last train to my uncle place at king cross .
but nvm .
i waited and waited and waited .
until 10.10pm .
the train stillnot here .
from aldgate east to king cross need at least 15 mins .
i definitely cannot reach there on time .
cause at 10.30pm the train still nt bloody here!
so i called my driver and ask him to fetch me back .
waited for abt 40mins .
he then come .
i carry so many things .
laptop bag, handbag, 2 bags of present for my couziez .
i look forward to go to my uncle place .
but in the end .
presentz are lost .
uncle place cannot go .
i couldn't understand why .
why he scold like i did anything wrong .
haiz .
this yr x'mas is so sucky .
reali so sucky .
no mood at all .
reali .
haiz .
the person who take the bag .
muz be very happy .
haha .
he asked me for my blog url .
i refused .
cause if i have no position in ur heart,
what is the point of me telling u .
then he says i have bf le ah .
i said no .
cause its the truth .
if u din want to treasure me in the first place .
and now we have broken .
dun bother to care abt me anymore .
he says he want to bring me to sg the hot spring when i come back .
if in the first place,
u dun bother .
then now dun fucking act to bother abt me now !
i am not angry .
i am just too tired .
reali very tired .
i dun wan to have the feeling of neglected once again .
and being used once again .
haiz .
i miss my family alot alot alot .
x'mas pass le,
then new year is comin,
new yr over le,
then cny is coming ,
then my dad b'day ,
then my b'day .
all this event .
i am ALL ALONE .
so tired .
reali very tired .
help .
i am going off le .
no mood .
see play maple got mood anot .
haha .

guess who is back now .

2008-12-15T13:36:00.000Z

its nobody but this little cute angel (me lahs!)
been missing for days even i have internet .
just dun wan to blog .
i bought a gucci wallet for myself ytd .
so one thing strike off my goal list .
whaha .
it cost like abt 260pounds la hor .
a pink wallet .
they say is new colour la .
so i buy lor .
wanted to buy LV wallet de .
but the salesgirl attitude so bad .
so bought gucci instead .
and gucci much exp lor .
haha .
and i saw a LV bag and LV cosmetic pouch i like .
so i am just going to buy it .
and a phone LG cookie .
omg .
its just so cool ok .
din call my parents for abt a week .
dad complaint whr have i been missing and busy with .
so called them .
finally mum talk to me le .
lols .
cause made her angry .
that she 2 months or so nvr talk to me liao .
sob .
everyone has been asking me this stupid question .
u know a guy ah .
u got bf anot .
pahtoh alrdys .
zzzzzzz
wah lao eh .
just simply told my aunt i got a close fren here .
its a driver lor .
and i wun ever like him de lah .
pls .
30 something lor .
wah lao eh .
oh ya .
i realise what angie said in her blog long time ago was so true lahs lors .
24hrs per day is nvr enuff.
every night dunno what i doing .
then time pass liaoz .
sianx lor .
oh ya .
x'mas is coming .
whee .
but this yr round .
or probably this area people dun reali decorate for x'mas .
saw one probably the best lightings of all .
the hse probably quite big as well lor .
anw .
gtg to the so call close fren hsez .
cyaz .
why do i believe in u once again .
and now u made me disappointed .
sigh .
i am such a stupid fool .

halo . back !

2008-11-29T13:40:00.000Z

wow .
time flies .
i haven been blogging for a few weeks .
lols .
gues nobody is looking or reading my blog anymore le .
anw .
i have iinternet connection liao .
will be online every single day .
whee .
was looking at the trailer of channel 8 anniversary gala .
looking at the part whr they will show different years of cny countdown .
my tears dropped .
this comin cny i am not in sg celebrating once again .
but hopefully it will be the last time .
everyone ask me to study or take up a course .
not that i dun wan .
but i reali reluctant to stay here any longer .
tho i dun wan to go back .
but .
i reali miss my parents alot .
alot of memories had been brushing past my brains .
reali alot alot .
those unhappiness and those happiness .
in this world .
who exactly knows my mind and heart .
which person .
dun think i can find this person .
i reali miss everything i used to had .
why i dun treasure .
now till thsi stage .
everything cannot be go back .
was saying abt studying here .
perhaps / might take a course .
if i manage to find a college with my course i wan .
i might study if its not too exp .
ok la .
i go emo lerx .
lols .
tataz .
miss xx

dunno la

2008-11-06T15:42:00.000Z

sometimes
i was wandering am i a lucky girl .
if i am a lucky girl?
if yes,
why do i always find the one i love .
but eventually i will lose him de .
haiz .
but serious this few days ,
my mind is him .
wj .
i seriously dunno why .
i used to "escape" by not listening to the songs we used to had memories .
but this few days .
i listen and listen and listen .
sometimes i cried .
even on the train .
why .
why did i make the opportunity to lose him .
he is now so in love .
but muz i still think of him .
trying to ask myself .
to forget him ba .
but i guess for me its reali hard .
haiz /
dun write le .
i gg slp liao .
tt

=)

2008-10-31T01:02:00.000Z

whee .
finally i am blogging after so many days huh .
was at my new working place .
unable to steal wireless till now lor .
haha .
well .
decided not to go back liao .
gonna extend .
till my visa ends .
perhaps or rather say .
i am avoiding my problems at sg ba .
well .
i got so many problems at my family now .
just dun understand why .
why my brother will cheat my money .
so little money only .
3000 sgd .
haiz .
anw .
gonna surf web b4 no more wwireless .
tata

bye peeps .

2008-10-19T11:26:00.000+01:00

i dunno what is my next step .
i have left my working place .
now finding a new job .
dunno will i be able to find any .
or simply can't .
if not,
i think i will go back sg in 2 weeks time .
probably asap .
i tot i could ren but no more .
told my boss .
i will nt work for u anymore .
i hope to leave by tmr (i told him ytd night)
he tried to leave me .
but i said no more i could able to tolerate .
hence,
he let me leave without any condition .
hence i can't update blog anymore .
if there is chance,
i will try to .
sorry for bu gao er bie .

"if time could turn back, i would not make the same mistakes"

was looking at papers ytd .
saw eee pc .
we had brk off .
but why do i still wan to buy the laptop for u as a surprise .
i dunno .
perhaps everything went deeply wrong .
so wrong .
i might not see u at the end .
but why do i hope to still hug u tight .
din managed to slp till 6am .
saw u online ,
wanted to talk to u .
but suan le .
din talk to u in the end .
thinking u might be bz .
i am so sick .
sore throat .
flu .
cough .
block nose .
fever .
every single shit u could get ,
its on my body now .
feeling so xxing ku .
tts why i wanna go back sg .
i almost had fits ytd night .
u noe la .
the symptoms .
probably is too cold and i am too agitated .
dunno la .

o ya.
on a happier side .
i finally finish my drama show .
hk de .
i still yet unable to dwl the sg show .
haiz .
sobx .
i mean last episode .

tts all for my last post .

lost .

2008-10-17T15:36:00.000+01:00

i reali dunno what to do .
haiz .
my mind is in a lost .
so many things to do .
so little time .
haiz .
i think the chef like me lor .
he has been teasing me every single day .
then we always dou zui every min .
haha .
as if we had big en yuan .
lols .
1 mre mths and 18 week .
lols .
i tot of going back early .
but my mum says .
coming back early not a prob .
but ask me to see a doc if not well .
cause if sick,
sit plane very xing ku .
then she say and say .
my bro at the background says .
aiyo . mother u so naggy .
and my dad become a power ranger .
lols .
use a massage stick to hit my mum head to give her "power"
lols .
reali miss our days as a family .
its been sometimes since we went for a picnic .
when i get back,
gonna organise a sun picnic for everyone .
haha .
family gathering is important .
a simple and nice picnic .
=) .
miss my bros, and family .
haiz .
has been talking to alex, my ex for this few days .
realise perhaps i had misunderstood him for brking up tt yr .
suddenly miss the days we had .
its happy moments .
haiz .
but what is past is past liao .
no more turning back .
regarding my job,
perhaps i shall change .
be on time,
behave myself .
i dun wish to change anymore job .
i am reali happy with this job .
my uncle says if i be on time, and behave,
perhaps i still can stay here but .
dunno for how long .
but i guess if i change,
my boss wun "fired" me ba .
hope so .
i go rest liao .

haha .

2008-10-16T14:16:00.000+01:00

i dreamt of him yytd night .
lols .
dreamt the days we spent tgr .
dunno why also .
perhaps i have been trying to escape all this while .
dunno .
confused .
u had deleted all my friendster comment for u .
guess it has clearly stated .
guess u wun ever read my blog ever again .
guess u had deleted me from msn as well .
guess we wun ever contact again .
if that is the case,
i wish u all the best my fren.
hopefully we are still fren .
=)
cannot be lover still can be fren loh .
cheers .
trying to stay happy .
seriously .
i now tot of pushing forward my return to sg date .
i reali feel so unhappy and sick here .
everything sux .
emo~